your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This girl is more easily done than said...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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