I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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