I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
