Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
