If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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