It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
