dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize