the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
