he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Of course I have a pirate flag
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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