This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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