How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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