Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
