Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
