Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
