Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
