The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
