Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
