please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
