Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
