Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
