During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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