O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
