yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
