(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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