Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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