I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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