Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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