real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
