8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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