i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
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Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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