I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
