The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
