That's when you crack a 10am beer
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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