your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
only you would photoshop your dick
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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