I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
