Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
