I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
