Got a toothbrush?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
