dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
as a side note pls kill me
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