who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
