Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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