they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
