the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
