I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob