i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.