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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt

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• (916): View more from California

  whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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• (510): View more from California

  Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.

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• (714): View more from California

  I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.

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