i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.