Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
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I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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