Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize