He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
