there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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