I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How's work?
Spinning.
As shirtless as possible
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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