she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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