That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
