Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
