I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
