I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
