Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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