I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize