Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
