Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
