Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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