you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
