I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize