She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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