Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
