I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize