so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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