im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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