It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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