I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Boobs speak an international language.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
