Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
